Faith

I didn't want to write. I realize I'm not that good. These days I am making reading exercises. I need to prove to myself this is not obsession. My aim today is write so good that the highest doctors of Cambridge, Oxford and Harvard will be stunned. It's a quite ambitious goal and I take the risk of sound ridiculous. But I don't mind. 

I want perfection in English. Like the boy of Whiplash I train every single day. The way I breath is the way I live English: I read the Guardian UK, Washington Post, scientific articles, cartoons and of course literature. I am mastering a lot of books in English. 

I need to confess that when I have started writing I couldn't even read The Times or something else. Most of my vocabulary comes from Cinema. It's one of my good vices. In music, I could cite Tupac: if you are a good student of English, try to listen some rap and distinguish words and sentences. I think listening difficult musics it's also an exercise. 

I will become a professional very soon. One day I will be giving some lecture in Cambridge, Oxford or any respectable institution. I am good professional because I do not want a trip. I do not want to marry. I do not want to buy a house or a car. My professional ambition is only one: To be perfect in English.  Remember that guy from Brazil? That would be I. When you have a dream and you fight for it, with everything you have, you get it. The secret is never doubt of yourself. Do not care for jealous people who want to see you falling down. 

Besides, there are no secrets in language. It's all about communication. If you can read what it is written right here I can say two things: a) I wrote it correctly because if I were too much ambiguous it would impossible to unriddle the text, b) You know how to read, what is written here is according to some rules, that you identify and catch the meaning of the text. This is the miracle of communication. If I write good enough, anyone who knows the code can break it and get into its significance. 

To end this very brief observation I would say that I will no longer use "Kalon Kakon" as a therapist, as a way to picture my troubles as a drama. I wanna try something different these time. Not to repeat the same mistake of infinite arguments of Athena and Prometheus. But they were good experiences. I could not say it represents literature, but I say for sure it's not a lie: it's fiction. 

The main difference between lie and fiction is that when a person lie, I mean in real life,  the one is trying to cause damage to somebody else. And this is ugly. A fiction is a lie which hurts nobody: you read a text and you know it's not real. 

Probably I will have those things most of workers and students are striving for: and real much more. English is more than semantics and syntax: It belongs to specific cultures, it's a living thing. I'm already glad to know that I have already read Shakespeare while many of Americans, Australians and British people don't. 

I used to say that I was stealing the fire of the Gods. Indeed, I am robing and I will be rewarded for it. 

I learned more than English. I learned faith and discipline are more than words: they are things we do everyday, as watching movies, listening to music, physical exercises, reading, work, go to college, take a shower, eat, etc. 

This is it. When I want to write, I write. I will keep writing, as Johnny Walker keep walking. Bad joke, have a nice day and do not forget to have faith. Look to the sky and see this is a beautiful and unique day. =D

Clarissa Lake - Faith