Wednesday, 20 January 2021

Celebration of the Box: The Tale of the Wife of Bath - Geoffrey Chaucer

 Lady Alice or The Tale of the Wife of Bath


by Geoffrey Chaucer 


“Experience, though it would be no authority in this

world, would be quite sufficient for me, to speak of

the woe that is in marriage; for, gentle people, since I

was twelve years old--thank God, Who lives forever-

-I have had five husbands at the church-door (for I

have been wedded so often); and all were worthy

men in their ranks. But in truth I was told not long

ago that since Christ went only once to a wedding, in

Cana of Galilee by that same example he taught me

that I should be wedded only once. Lo! Hear what a

sharp word Jesus, man and God, spoke on a certain

occasion beside a well, in reproof of the Samaritan

woman.

. He said, ‘You have had five husbands; and

that man who has you now is not your husband.’

Thus he said, certainly. What he meant by it I cannot

say; but I ask, why the fifth man was no husband to

the Samaritan woman. 


“How many could she have in marriage? At this

point I have never in my life heard a designation of

the number. Men may divine and interpret up and

down, but well I know, surely, God expressly

instructed us to increase and multiply. I can well

understand that noble text. Likewise, I know well he

said also that my husband should leave father and

mother and take me. But he did not mention any

number, not bigamy or of octogamy. Why should

men speak villainously of them?


“Lo, Sir Solomon

 the wise king! I believe he had

more than one wife, and I wish to God it were lawful

for me to be refreshed half so often! What a gift of

God he had in all his wives! No man who lives in this

world now has so many. God knows this noble king

to my thinking, had a merry life with each of them, so

joyous was his lot! Blessed be God that I wedded

five! And they were the best that I could pick out,

both in their bodies and of their coffers. A variety of

schools make perfect scholars, and much practice in a

variety of employments truly makes the perfect

workman. I have the schooling of five husbands. I

would welcome the sixth, whenever he shall come! In

truth, I will not keep myself wholly chaste; when my

husband has departed from the world, then some

other Christian man shall wed me. For then, the

apostle says, I am free, in God’s name, to wed where

I wish.


“He says that it is no sin to be wedded; it is better to

be wedded than to burn. What do I care if people

speak badly of cursed Lamech

 and his bigamy? Well I know Abraham was a holy man, and Jacob as well, 

as far as I know, and each of them had more

than two wives. And many other holy men did as

well. 


“When have you seen that in any time great God

forbade marriage explicitly? Tell me, I pray you. Or

where did he command virginity? You know as well

as I, without a doubt, that the apostle, when he speaks

of maidenhood, says that he had no instructions on it.

Men may counsel a woman to be single, but

counseling is not commanding; he left it to our own

judgment. For if God had commanded maidenhood,

then with that same word had he condemned

marrying. And certainly, if no seed were sown, from

where then should virgins spring? Paul dared not

command a thing for which his master gave no order.

The prize is set for virginity--win it who can. Let us

see who runs best.

.

“But this command is not to be taken by every

creature, but only where Almighty God wishes to

give it through his might. The apostle was a virgin, I

know well, but nevertheless, though he wrote that he

wished every creature to be like him, all that is only

advice to be a virgin; and he gave me leave and

indulgence to be a wife.

 So likewise, if my spouse

should die, there is no shame or charge of bigamy to

marry me. It would be good, he said, to touch no

woman, for it is a peril to bring together fire and hay.

You know what this example may mean

“This is the sum of it all: the apostle held virginity to

be more perfect than marriage because of weakness. I

call them weak unless man and wife would lead all

their life in chastity. I grant it well, I have no malice

even if maidenhood were set above remarriage. It

pleases them to be clean, body and soul; of my own

estate I will make no boast. For you well know that

not every vessel in a lord’s house is made of gold;

some are of wood, and do their lord service. God

calls people to him in various manners, and each one

has his own gift from--one this, one that, as it pleases

God to provide. Virginity is a great perfection, and

devoted chastity as well. 

But Christ, the fountain of perfection, did not instruct

every person to go sell all that he had and give to the

poor, and in such a fashion follow him and his

footsteps. “He spoke this to those people who wished

to be perfect; and by your leave, gentle people, I am

not one of those. I will use the flower

 of my life in

the acts and fruits of marriage

Tell me also, for what purpose were members of

procreation made, and made in such a perfect

manner? Trust well, they were not made for nothing.

Whosoever wishes to interpret may do so, and

interpret things up and down that and say that they

were made for purging urine and that both our small

things were also to know a female from a male and

for no other cause--did someone say no? Those with

experience know well it is not so. So that scholars

will not be angry with me, I say this: that they are

made for both; that is to say, for duty and for ease of

procreation, providing we do not displease God. Why

should men otherwise set down in their books that

man shall yield to his wife her debt? Now with what

should he make his payment, if he did not use his

blessed instrument? They were made then upon a

creature to purge urine, and for procreation as well.


 But I do not say that every person who has such

equipment is bound to go and use it for procreation.

For that reason people should men take no heed of

chastity. Christ was a virgin and created as a man, as

were many saints since the beginning of the world;

yet they always lived in perfect chastity. I will not

envy any virginity. Let virgins be called bread of

purified wheat-seed, and let us wives be called

barley-bread; and yet, as Mark can tell, our Lord

Jesus refreshed many people with barley-bread. I

will persevere in such a state as God has called us to;

I am not particular. In wifehood I will use my

instrument as freely as my Maker has sent it. If I am

unaccommodating to my husband, may God give me

sorrow. My husband shall have it both evening and

morning, whenever it pleases him to come forth and

pay his debt. I will not stop. I will have a husband

who will be both my debtor and servant, and have his

tribulation upon his flesh, while I am his wife. As

long as I live I, and not he, have the power over his

body. The apostle told it to me in this very way, and

instructed our husbands to love us well. This entire

subject pleases me well, every bit


Up started the Pardoner, and without delay. “Now

lady,” he said, “by God and St. John, you are a noble

preacher in this matter! I was about to wed a wife;

alas! Why should I pay for it so dearly upon my

flesh? I would rather not wed any wife this year.” 


“Wait! My tale is not yet begun,” she said. “No,

before I go you shall drink out of another barrel that

will taste worse than ale. And when I have told my

story to you about the tribulation in marriage, in

which I have been expert all my life (that is to say, I

myself have been the scourge), then you may choose

whether you will sip of that same barrel that I shall

broach. Be mindful, before you come too close; for I

shall tell half a score of examples. ‘Whosoever will

not be warned by other men, by him shall other men

be corrected’: these same words writes Ptolemy; read

his Almagest.”


“Lady,” said this Pardoner, “I would pray you, if it

were your pleasure, tell your tale as you began, hold

back for no man, and teach us young men from your

experience.”


“Gladly,” she said, “if it may please you. But I beg

all of you in this company, if I speak according to my

fancy, do not take it amiss. For my intent is but to

make sport. Now, sirs, I will continue.


 “May I never see another drop of ale or wine, if I did

not tell the truth about my husbands, as three of them

were good, and two of them were bad. The three men

were good, rich and old, and they hardly could keep

their obligation to me, by which they were bound to

me. By God, you know well what I mean by this.

May God help me, I laugh when I think how pitifully

I made them work at night! And, by my faith, I found

it useless. I did not need to make an effort or pay

them any respect to win their love. They loved me so

well, by God above, that I set no value on their love.

A wise woman will always attempt to win love where

she has none; but since I had them wholly in my hand

and had all their land, why should I bother to please

them, unless it were for my profit and pleasure? I

ruled them so, by my faith, that many nights they

sang ‘alas!


“Not for them, I believe, was fetched the bacon that

some men win at Dunmow in Essex. I governed

them so well by my rules that each of them was

blissful and glad to bring me beautiful things from

the fair. They were glad when I spoke friendly to

them, for God knows, I chided them without mercy.

Now listen, you wise wives who can understand, hear

how craftily I behaved myself


“Thus shall you speak, and thus you shall put them

in the wrong, for there is no man who can swear and

lie half so boldly as a woman. I say this for the

benefit of wise wives when they have made a little

misstep. A wise wife, if she knows what is good for

her, shall make a man believe that the jackdaw is

mad, and shall use her own maid as a witness to

confirm it


“But now hear how I spoke: -’Old sir fogey, is this

how you would have things? Why is my neighbor’s

wife so fine? She is honored everywhere she goes,

while I have no decent clothes and must sit at home.

Are you in love? What are you doing at my

neighbor’s house? Is she so fair? What do you

whisper with our maid? God bless! Leave behind

your tricks, old sir lecher! And if I have a friend or a

gossip, completely innocent, and I walk to his house

or amuse myself there, you chide me like a fiend.

You come home as drunk as a mouse and sit on your

bench preaching, with no good reason. You say to

me, it is a great evil to wed a poor woman, for the

cost; and if she were rich, of noble birth, then you say

that it is a torment to suffer her pride and her

melancholy. And if she were fair, you say that every

lecher will have her, you very knave! She who is

assailed on every side cannot remain in chastity for

long. 


 “‘You say that some folk desire us for our wealth,

some for our figure, some for our beauty, some

because we can sing or dance, some for our manners

and mirth, and some for our hands and slim arms.

Thus all goes to the Devil, by your account.


“‘You say that a castle wall can not be defended

when it is assailed so long from every side. And if a

woman be foul, then you say that she covets every

man she sees, and will leap on him like a spaniel,

until she find some man to do business with her. You

say no goose in the lake that is too grey to look for a

mate. And you say that it is a hard matter to control a

thing that no man would be willing to keep.


“‘Thus you say, old fool, when you are going to bed;

that no wise man need marry, nor any man who

hopes for heaven. With a wild thunder-clap and fiery

lightning-bolt may your withered neck be snapped in

two! You say that leaky houses, smoke, and chiding

wives, make men flee from their own homes


“‘Ah, God bless! What ails such an old man to scold

like this? You say that we wives will cover our vices

until we are safely married, and then we show them.

That is a villain’s proverb! You say that oxen, asses,

horses, and hounds are tested for some time before

men buy them, and so are basins, wash-bowl, spoons,

stools, pots, clothes, attire, and all such household

stuff; but people make no test of wives until they are

wedded. And then, you old rascally dotard, you say,

we will show our vices.


“‘You say also it displeases me unless you praise my

beauty and gaze ever upon my face and call me “fair

lady” everywhere; and unless you make a feast on my

birthday, and dress me gay and freshly; and unless

you do honor to my nurse, and to my maid in my

bower, and to my father’s family-- all this you say,

old barrel-full of lies.


“‘And yet you have gathered a false suspicion of our

apprentice Jankin, for his crisp hair shining like fine

gold, and because he escorts me back and forth. I

would not have him, even if you should die

tomorrow! But tell me this--and bad luck to you!--

why do you hide the keys of your chest from me? By

God, they are my goods as well as yours! Why do

you intend to make a fool of the mistress of your

house? Now by the lord who is called St. James,

however you may rage, you shall not be master both

of my body and of my goods; you must give up one

of them, in spite of your eyes


“‘What good does it do if you inquire after me or spy

upon me? You want to lock me in your chest, I

believe! You should say, “Wife, go where you wish,

take your pleasure, I will believe no tales; I know you

for a true wife, Lady Alice.” We love no man who

takes note or care where we go; we wish to have our

freedom. May he be blessed of all men, that wise

astrologer, Sir Ptolemy, who says this proverb in his

book Almagest, “Of all men, he who never cares who

has the world in hand has the greatest wisdom.” You

are to understand by this proverb that you have

enough: why do you need to care how well-off other

people are? For in truth, old fogey, you shall have

plenty of pleasing thing in the evening. He who will

forbid a man to light a candle at his lantern is too

great a miser; by God, he should have light,

nevertheless. So you have enough; you need not

complain. 


“‘You say also that if we make ourselves amorous

with clothing and with costly dress, it would be a

peril to our chastity; and yet--may the plague take

you!--you must confirm it with these words of the

apostle: “Ye women shall apparel yourselves in

garments made with chastity and shame,” he said,

“and not with tressed hair and splendid gems and

pearls, nor with gold, nor rich clothes.” I would not

give a fly for your text or your rubric.


“‘You said also I was like a cat; for a cat, if someone

were to singe the cat’s skin, will always dwell at

home; but if she were sleek and elegant in her fur,

she will not remain in the house an hour, but before

any day would dawn, will go forth to show her skin

and go a-caterwauling. This is to say, sir rogue, if I

am finely dressed, I will run out to show my clothes. 


“‘Sir old fool, what ails you to spy after me? Even if

you were to ask Argus to be my sentry with his

hundred eyes as best he can, in faith, he shall not

keep watch over me unless it suits me. Still I could

deceive him, as I hope to prosper


“‘You say also that there are three things that trouble

this entire world, and that no creature can endure the

fourth. Oh, dear sir rascal, may Jesus shorten your

life! Still you preach and say a hateful woman is

considered one of these adversities. Are there no

other things you can use for comparison without an

innocent wife being one of them?


“‘You compare woman’s love to hell, or to barren

land where no water can lie. You compare it also to

wildfire; the more it burns, the more it desires to

consume everything that can be burned. You say that

just as worms destroy a tree, so too a wife destroys

her husband; those who are tied to women know this


“Gentle people, in this very way, as you can see, I

would firmly swear to my old husbands, that they

said this in their drunkenness; and all was false,

except I got Jankin and my niece to be my witnesses.

O Lord! The pain and woe I did them, though they

were innocent, by God’s sweet suffering! For I could

bite and whinny like a horse. I knew how to

complain, even if I was guilty; or else I would have

often been undone. He who first comes to the mill,

grinds first; I complained first, and thus our war was

ended. They were very glad to excuse themselves

hurriedly of things that they never had done in all

their lives. I would accuse my old husband of visiting

prostitutes, even when they were so sick that they

could scarcely stand.


“Yet I tickled his heart because he thought that I had

such great fondness for him. I swore that all my

walking about at night was to spot wenches whom he

slept with. Under that pretext I had many privy jests

at him; for all such wit is given to us when we are

born. God has given deceit, weeping, and spinning to

women by nature, so long as they live


 “And thus I boast of one thing for myself: in the end

I had the better in every way, by cunning, or by force,

or by some type of device, such as continual

murmuring or grumbling. And most chiefly at night

they had ill fortune; then I would scold and grant him

no pleasure. I would not stay in bed any longer if I

felt his arm over my side, until he had paid his

ransom to me. And therefore I tell this to every man:

let he who can, prosper, for everything has its price.

Men may lure no hawks with an empty hand. For the

sake of gain I would give them their way, and pretend

to have an appetite; and yet I never had pleasure in

bacon, from Dunmow or elsewhere. And so I would

be chiding them all the time; even if the pope had sat

beside them, by my word, I would not spare them at

their own table. I repaid them word for word; so may

the Almighty Lord help me, if I ere to make my

testament right now, I would not owe them a word

that has not been repaid. By my wits I made it so that

they were glad to surrender, as their best option, or

we would have never been at peace. For though my

husband looked like a mad lion, he was nonetheless

bound to fail in his purpose.


“Then would I say, ‘Good dear, take note how

meekly Wilkin our sheep looks; come near, my

spouse, let me kiss your cheek. You should be all

patient and mild, and have a sweet tender conscience,

since you thus preach of the patience of Job. Always

endure, since you can preach so well; and unless you

do, we must teach you for sure that it is pleasant to

have a wife in peace. Truly, one of us two must bend

to the other and since a man is more reasonable than

a woman, you must be patient. What ails you to

grumble and groan in this way? Is it because you

want to have my body all to yourself? Why, take it

all! Have every bit! By Peter, I curse you, but you

love it well! If I would sell my beautiful thing, I

could walk as fresh as a rose, but I will keep it for

your own taste. You are to blame, by God! I tell you

the truth.” We had this sort of words between us; but

now I will speak about my fourth husband.

stubborn and strong, and jolly as a magpie. I could

dance well to a little harp, and sing like any

nightingale, when I had taken a draught of sweet

wine. Metellius, the filthy churl, the swine, who with

a staff bereft his spouse of her life, because she drank

wine, would not have frightened me from drink, if I

had been his wife! And when I think of wine I must

think of Venus; for just as surely as cold engenders

hail, a lecherous mouth leads to a lecherous body.

There is no defense in a woman who is full of wine,

as lechers know by experience


“Lord Christ! But when I think about my youth and

mirth, it tickles me at the root of my heart! To this

very day it does my heart good that I have had my

fling in my time. But alas! Age, which envenoms all

things, has bereft me of my beauty and energy. Let

them go. Farewell! May the Devil go with them! The

flour is gone, and there is no more to say; now I sell

the bran as best as I can. But even now I will strive to

be very merry


“Now I will tell of my fourth husband. I say I had

great resentment in my heart that he had pleasure in

any other. But by the Lord and Saint Joce, he was

paid back! I made a cross from the same wood for his

back; not with my body, in any foul manner, but truly

I offered people such generous hospitality that for

anger and absolute jealousy I made him fry in his

own grease. By God, I was his purgatory on earth,

wherefore I hope that his soul is in glory now2


“For God knows, he sat often and sang, when his

shoe pinched him bitterly: No creature knew, except

God and he, how sorely I twisted him in so many

ways. He died when I returned home from Jerusalem,

and lies buried under the cross-beam, albeit his

tomb is not quite as elaborately crafted as the

sepulcher of Darius that Apelles so skilfully made.

It would have been a waste to bury him at such an

expense! Farewell to him; he is now in his grave and

in his coffin--God rest his soul! 


“Now will I speak of my fifth husband--may God

never allow his soul to enter hell! And yet he was the

most villainous to me, as I can still feel on my ribs all

in a row, and ever shall to my ending day. But he was

so fresh and merry, and could sweet-talk so well that,

even if he had beaten me on every bone, he could

soon win my beautiful thing again. I believe I loved

him best, because he was sparing in his love.


“We women have, to tell the truth, an odd fantasy on

this matter; whatever thing we can not easily win we

will cry after continually and crave. “Forbid us

something, and we desire that thing. Press on us hard,

and then we will flee. With much reserve we offer

our merchandise; a large crowd at the market makes

our wares expensive; wares offered at too low a price

will be thought to have little value. Every wise

woman knows this


 “My fifth husband--may God bless his soul--which I

took for love and not for riches, was sometime an

Oxford scholar; and he had left school, and went to

board with my good friend, who dwelt in our town.

May God keep her soul! Her name was Alisoun. She

knew my heart and my private thoughts better than

our parish priest, by my soul! To her I revealed all

my secrets. 


“For had my husband peed on a wall, or done

something that would have cost him his life, I would

have told his every bit of his secret to her, and to

another worthy wife, and to my niece, whom I loved

well. And I did so often, God knows, which often

made his face red and hot for true shame, and he

would blame himself for telling me so great a secret.


“And so it happened that once, in Lent, (as I so often

did, I visited my friend, for I still always loved to be

merry, and to walk from house to house in March,

April, and May, to hear various tales) that Jankin the

clerk, my friend dame Alice, and I walked into the

fields. All that spring my husband was in London; I

had a better opportunity to play, and to see and to be

seen by lusty folk. What did I know about how my

fortune was to be shaped or in what place? Therefore,

I made my visits to holy day vigils, to processions, to

sermons, to these pilgrimages, to miracle-plays, and

to weddings, and wore my gay scarlet gowns. These

worms and moths and mites never ate a bit of them, 

upon my peril! And do you know why? Because they

were well used


“Now I will tell what happed to me. I say that we

walked in the fields, until in truth we had such

flirtation together, this clerk and I, that in my

foresight I spoke to him, and told him how he should

wed me, if I were widowed. For, I am not speaking in

boast; I was certainly never to this point without

provision for marriage--nor for other things as well. I

think that a mouse’s heart is not worth a leek if the

mouse has but one hole to run to; and if that one fails,

then all is over


“I persuaded him to think that he had enchanted me;

my mother taught me that trick. And I said also I

dreamed of him all night; he would have slain me as I

lay on my back, and my whole bed was full of real

blood; but yet I hoped that he should bring good

fortune to me, for blood signifies gold, as I was

taught. And all of it was false; I dreamed not a bit of

it, but I followed my mother’s teaching all along, as

well as in other things besides


“But now, sir, let me see; what shall I say now? Aha!

By God, I have it again. When my fourth husband lay

on his bier, I wept ever and made a sorrowful

expression, as wives must, for it is the custom; and I

covered my face with my kerchief. But since I had

been provided with a new mate, I wept rather little, I

vow. 


“In the morning my husband was borne to church by

the neighbors, who mourned for him, and our scholar

Jankin was one of them. So may God help me, when

I saw him go after the bier, I thought he had so clean

and fair a pair of legs and feet that I gave him all my

heart to keep. He was twenty winters old, I believe,

and if I am to tell the truth, I was forty. But I always

had a colt’s tooth. I was gap-toothed; I bore the print

of Saint Venus’ birthmark, and that became me

well. I was a lusty one, and fair, and rich, and

youthful, and merry of heart, may God help me


“For certainly, I am dominated by the planet Venus

in my senses, and my heart is dominated by the

planet Mars. Venus gave me my love for pleasure

and my wantonness, and Mars my sturdy hardihood.

My ascendant was Mars in Taurus. Alas, alas! That

ever 1ove was thought a sin! I followed ever my

inclination by virtue of my constellation. That made

it that I could not withhold my chamber from any

good fellow. Yet I have the mark of Mars upon my

face and in another private place as well. May God be

my salvation indeed, I never loved discreetly, but

always followed my appetite, whether he was short or

tall, black or white it did not matter to me, as long as

he pleased me, how poor he was, nor of what station.


“What should I say but at the end of a month this

jolly clerk Jankin, who was so debonair, wedded me

with great splendor? And I gave him all the land and

wealth that I had ever been given; but afterwards I

repented myself sorely, for he would allow nothing

that I desired. By God, he struck me once on the ear!

That was because I tore a leaf out of his book and my

ear grew entirely deaf because of the blow. I was as

stubborn as a lioness, and a very chatterbox with my

tongue, and I would walk as I had done before from

house to house, though he had sworn I should not.

For this reason he would often make homilies and

teach me old Roman histories how Symplicius Gallus

left his wife and forsook her for all his days, just

because he saw her one day looking out of his door

with her head uncovered. 


“He told me the name of another Roman who

forsook his wife also because without his knowledge

she was to a summer game. And then he would seek

in his Bible that proverb of the Ecclesiast where he

commands and firmly forbids that a man should

allow his wife to go wander about. Then indeed he

would say just this,

“He who builds his house out of sallows

,

And spurs his blind horse over fallows

,

And allows his wife to seek hallows

,

Then should be hanged upon the gallows.”

But all for nothing; I did not care one acorn for his

proverbs or his old saying, and I would not be

scolded by him. I hate anyone who tells me my

faults; and, God knows, so too do more of us than I.

This made him insanely furious with me, but I would

not tolerate him in any case


“Now, by Saint Thomas, I will tell you the truly,

why I tore a leaf out of his book, for which he struck

me so that I became deaf. He had a book which he

would be still reading, night and day, for his

amusement. He called it Valerius and Theophrastus;

he always laughed uproariously at this book. And

there was also once a scholar at Rome, a cardinal,

named Saint Jerome, who composed a book against

Jovinian; and besides this in my husband’s book

there were Tertullian, Chrysippus, Trotula, and

Heloise, who was abbess not far from Paris, and also

the Proverbs of Solomon, Ovid’s Art of Love and

many other books; and all these were bound in one

volume. 


“And every night and day, when he had leisure and

freedom from other outside occupation, it was his

habit to read in this book about wicked women; of

them he knew more lives and legends than there are

of good women in the Bible. For, trust well, it is an

impossibility that any scholar will speak well of

women, unless it would be of the lives of holy saints;

but never of any other woman. Who painted the Lion,

tell me? By God, if women had written histories, as

scholars have in their chapels, they would have

written about men more evil than all the sons of

Adam could redress


 “The children of Mercury and the children of Venus

are contrary in their actions; Mercury loves wisdom

and knowledge, and Venus revelry and extravagance.

And, because of their contrary natures, each of these

planets descends in sign of the zodiac in which the

other is most powerful; thus Mercury is depressed in

Pisces, where Venus is exalted, and Venus is

depressed where Mercury is exalted. Therefore no

woman is praised by any scholar. When the scholar is

old and entirely unable to give Venus service that is

even worth his old shoe, then he sits down and in his

dotage writes that women cannot keep their marriage

vow!


“But now to my tale--why I was beaten for a book,

by God, as I told you. One night Jankin, our husband,

sat by the fire and read in his book, first about Eve,

for whose wickedness all mankind was brought to

misery, for which Jesus Christ Himself was slain,

Who redeemed us with His heart’s blood. Lo! Here

you may read explicitly about woman, that she was

the ruin of all mankind

“Then he read to me how Samson lost his hair in his

sleep; his sweetheart cut it with her shears, through

which treason he lost both his eyes. Then I tell you

he read me about Hercules and his Dejanira, who

caused him to set fire to himself. Nor did he in any

way forget the penance and woe which Socrates had

with his two wives, how his wife Xantippe cast piss

on his head; this blameless man sat still as a stone,

wiped his head, and dared say no more than, “before

thunder ceases, the rain comes.”


“Of his cursedness my husband found a relish in the

tale of Pasiphae, queen of Crete. Fie! Speak no

more of her horrible lust and desire--it is a grisly

thing. He read with good devotion about

Clytemnestra, who for her wantonness

treacherously caused her husband’s death. He told me

also for what cause Amphiaraus perished at Thebes;

my husband had a legend about his wife Eriphyle,

who for a brooch of gold secretly informed the

Greeks where her husband had hidden himself; for

this reason he met a sorry fate at Thebes. He told me

of Livia and Lucilia, who both caused their husbands

to die, the one for hate, the other for love. Livia

,

late one evening, poisoned her husband, because she

had become his foe; the wanton Lucilia so loved her

husband that she gave him a love-drink, that she

might always be in his mind, but of such power that

he was dead before morning


“And thus in one way or the other husbands came to

sorrow. And then he told me how one Latumius

lamented to Arrius, his fellow, how there grew in his

garden such a tree on which, he said, his three wives

had hanged themselves with desperate heart. ‘Oh

dear brother, give me a slip from this same blessed

tree,’ said this Arrius, ‘and it shall be planted in my

garden!’ 


“He read about wives of later times, some of whom

have murdered their husbands in their sleep, and had

sex with their lovers while the corpse lay all night flat

on the floor. And some have driven nails into their

husband’s brains while they slept. And some have

given them poison in their drink. He spoke more evil

than a heart can devise


“And in all this he knew more proverbs than blades

of grass grow in this world. He said, ‘It is better to

have your dwelling with a lion or a foul dragon, than

with a woman accustomed to scorning.’ ‘It is better,’

he said, ‘to dwell high in the roof, than down in the

house with an angry woman; they are so wicked and

contrary that they forever hate what their husbands

love.


“He said, ‘A woman casts her shame away when she

casts off her undergarments.’ And furthermore, ‘A

beautiful woman, unless she is also chaste, is like a

gold ring in a sow’s nose.’ Who would think or

imagine the woe and pain in my heart.


“And when I saw that he would never leave reading

all night in this cursed book, all of the sudden I

plucked three leaves out of his book, even as he was

reading, and I also struck him on the cheek with my

fist so that he fell down backward into our fire. And

he started up like a mad lion, and struck me on the

head with his fist so that I lay as dead on the floor.


 “And he was aghast when he saw how still I was,

and would have fled on his way, until at last I came

out of my swoon. ‘Oh, have you slain me, false

thief,’ I said, ‘and have you murdered me thus for my

land? Before I die, I will still kiss you.’ And he came

nearer and kneeled down gently and said, ‘Dear sister

Alisoun, so God help me, I shall never strike you

again! You yourself are to blame for what I have

done. Forgive me for it; and I beg you for that.’ - And

yet again I hit him on the cheek, and said, ‘Thief, I

am revenged this much. Now I will die; I can speak

no more.’ 


“But at last with great pain and grief, we fell into

agreement between ourselves. He put the full bridle

into my hand, to have the governance of house and

estate, and over his tongue and hands as well. And I

made him burn his book then and there


“And when I had got for myself all the sovereignty,

through a master-stroke, and when he said, ‘My own

faithful wife, do as you will the rest of your days; be

the guard of your honor, and of my dignity also,’ we

had never a dispute after that day. God help me so, I

was as loving to him as any wife between Denmark

and India, and as true also; and so was he to me. And

I pray to God, Who sits in glory, so bless his soul for

His sweet compassion! Now I will relate my story, if

you will listen.”


Lady Alice is awesome: a little critical abstract 


Well, it's been a long time since I wrote here. My english should be horrible. Lady Alice is a very interesting character of Chaucer's peregrination, and also a good example to try to make men think more like a women, so men can be a little more delicate and sensitive. 

I could not put the original Chaucer's english here, otherwise it would be very hard for the common reader to comprehend and extract the rich beauty of Chaucer's poetry. 


For example, the first verses, original:


"Experience, though noon auctoritee

Were in this world, were right y-nough to me

To speke of wo that is in marriage;

For lordinges, sith I twelf yeer was of age,

Thonked be god that is eterne on lyve

Housbondes at chirche-dore I have had fyve;

For I so ofte have y-wedded be;

And Alle were worthy men in hir degree"


Sure, we can deduce a lot from modern english, but it keeps reading quite arid and hard. We know that "speke" is "speak", that "wo" is not so modern, but very commonly found in Allan Poe's tales, so "wo" is the 19th Century's "woe". 

I wasn't expecting many specialists in ancient english to be reading original, so I hope the adaptation fits well and readable. Enjoy it! 


Celebrating Author 


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