Respect (Draft)

First I would like to manifest my respectful condolence to the families of the victims.

When I first found Pandora's Box inside a trash can, I got surprised. What kind of crazy people write things like this? I got even more shocked when I found out the Greeks were writing things like this thousands of years ago.

The theater was not only entertainment. The plays used to begin in the morning and finish at the evening. The singing of the goat. Tragedy is a form to cause terror and pity. Maybe I'm wrong, but I believe the feeling of fear and hollowness is one part of the tragedy. 

Tragedy it's beautiful because make us feel horrible things, then, when we awake of the dream of the play, we return better. Tragedy had a fundamental thought based on education. People in London would never raise their children with Aeschylus or Homer.

That's not my point. Tragedy is a light rainbow to set us free this penetrated and obvious reality. Reality is a stage where things do not come to be easy. But there is also terror. I am talking about the sad thing which happened in Santa Barbara a few weeks ago. 

The guy who killed those people thought being a victim of a horrible destiny. Victim. That's how he felt. Victim. And what about responsibility? According to him, the social world was punishing him, because he was not "fit" to the pattern. That's what we do. We punish those who does not follow the social role, until the person fits on it. It begins with the parents telling the children what not to do, then comes the high school, educating according to government pattern to deny children a free mind. No, let's discipline them according to our rules, because if they learn to follow and accept language and mathematical rules they will not become monsters. Where does come from the ethics of civilians? Not from family, not from school: the ethic of industry. Let's behave with our family and friends as we do when we are working, it's more safe live like that. Which means we don't really need to respect everybody else, just have good manners, let's just do the ceremony and forgot the purpose of it.

That's not what I see. High school is just a preparation for the market. People are studying because they need jobs, not ethics neither sensibility. When the children of denying goes to the job they are perfectly fitted. They should be molded, after all they are simply the entire life learning how to follow rules and pretend to be kind. But what people really are, nobody wants to be aware of. 

Victim. I don't believe that. He wanted to be like others, he wanted to experience what is have a lot of girls, like this is a good thing. But it's a pattern of our social role: people are always fucking each other. It's curious he was not so clever. Not indeed. If he is the victim, why he envies them? What he did was a cold vengeance. Because he never had a a beating heart, he never loved nothing in this world, besides himself, his cold and hollow heart, empty of reason and poetry made him a cold killer. Yes, I believe this guy had not sensibility at all. He was raised by television and bad literature. Means that he felt hurt for the world, society, whatever. He felt wrong. In the mind of a broken people, what he did is right. Is a way of justice. Of course he was planning to do for such a long time. He wanted to be noticed no matter how. He wanted to feel like the guy all girls stop to talk and adore, like the famous football player. He was not a victim of anything besides his cold heart and tiny brain. Fame. Pride. Glory. Our blind seek for these things lead us where? In the battlefield of everyday. 

He said: "All I ever wanted was to fit in and live a happy life amongst humanity, but I was cast out and rejected, forced to endure an existence of loneliness and insignificance, all because the females of the human species were incapable of seeing the value in me," he wrote in the document, titled "My Twisted World."

All because the females of the "human species" were incapable of seeing the value in me". Value. He wanted to be rich, so he would have a lot of girls sucking his little cock to appreciate his "value".Only the desire for power and money drove his mind out. Keep seeking this victory and see where you will fall.  He suffered because he wanted to be like everybody else. "He was trying to fit". Guilty conscience. Why nobody ever realizes when there is a psycho killer around? Why they doubt of people's stupidity? I cannot realize I'm single human being, so I don't have to be like anybody else besides me, no, no, all I can see is that I should follow this horrible pattern of behavior. The paradox is that this subject despises those who treats him like object, but he wants to be on the top of status quo to cause damage on others. The monsters he uses to fear is that what he want to become: he want to punish people for not being fitted, as they did to him, and this is fair and just inside his mind. As he only had a little cock, and I believe many guys go crazy because of this, and he want everyone to notice his value. He can mind a monster punishing others like you never seen. Do you see the fragile head of a victim? We didn't chose to be here, however, we are not even victim nor guilty, for God's sake. 

Victim. I don't buy it. I control my own life so I am responsible for everything I do, not victim. So, let me get this situation once more, I am stupid and coward and others have to pay for it, because I am victim, which obviously means that others are guilty. I bet he had a poor little culture. He was educated, of course, but it doesn't mean culture. Schools are raised to form mechanics and technicians, not humanists. We should take care of those who are always complaining about how they are victim of an unfair and disproportional world. It's happening again and again, everywhere. Every year we have this gift of news, bringing the terror of our planet. The problem of  a monster is that he only cares about himself. This is why he murder people, this total lack of poetry and good reason. This is not a tragedy. There isn't a drop of beauty on what he did. Only crazy people like him enjoys such event. There are a lot of them. Feeling tortured by guilty and hating their parents. Adults hating parents it's a serious thing. But let's watch another new and forget this subject. Always apologizing for little things....

I had put some chapters of Kalon Kakon under vigilance. I censure a lot of things, as the episode of Medusa. In this particular chapter, Medusa is rapped for Poseidon in front of Athena, which does nothing. Medusa was a beautiful woman, but she turns into a monsters with snakes instead a long hair. Medusa was a victim as well. Victim of her own irresponsibility. Athena told her several times, not to bath close the sea, Poseidon was raising a deep passion and desire for the priest. When Athena questioned Medusa, she lied in first place. She told Athena: "I love you my True Goddess, I bow my whole life to serve you, I would never batch naked closed the sea". She lied to Athena, because she had a dream where Poseidon was inside her, and the idea of having an affair with a God make her wake up wet. Medusa told her parents that they would be rich and glorious forever, that she had found the one true love. After the dream, Medusa began to bath naked in the sea, in a clear attempt to provoke Poseidon. She was young, virgin and malicious. She was on the bank rivers laughing to herself, because she knew the God will not resist for too long. 

One day Medusa is alone is the temple of Athena. She is making her works when Poseidon appears. She goes running to him, take off his clothes and started to go wild with him. Athena came into the temple and Medusa got embarrassed, and pushed Poseidon away: "You should not come here. Athena help me, he is trying to take me by force. I was trying to resist when you came, please Athena, he did not brake my dignity. Go away you monster, you desecrated the temple of Pallas Athena". Athena is serious and does not reply. Athena just pass away, and have a seat and a couple of wine. Poseidon which was starring the Goddess, waiting for her fury, saw none. Then Poseidon approaches Medusa: "I didn't finish with you. Not yet". 

Medusa was already dressed and slap the face of Poseidon. He responds with the same gesture, and she looks to Athena for the first time. "Athena, you gotta help me! I beg you, save me from this evil". Athena does not move the green eyes. 

Medusa tries to beat Poseidon and run away, but the God got her by the feet, then tearing the dress away, with anger. She kicks but Poseidon grabs her feet, her thighs, belly, arms, hair. He takes the hair by violence, she is crying by now, starring Athena crying and with a perplex semblant. Medusa is feeling wronged. She screams, complain, but Poseidon got her and posses her body for a long time while she whipped. I censored this scene because it was made in the pattern of the motion picture of Gaspar Noé, "Irréversible of 2002. I know rape it's a classical theme of literature but I didn't like this one leitmotiv. 

Medusa stood alone in the cold floor of the temple, still crying and bleeding. Athena decides to leave the temple and step by step reaches the harmed body. Athena does not say a word. Then Medusa curses Athena: "I HATE YOU, FROM THE DEEPS OF HADES I WILL ALWAYS HATE YOU! You let him did this to me. You allowed him to hurt one of your own! You are evil! The reader without social responsibility will support Medusa. Athena could not save her from her choices. Athena didn't tell her to provoke the anger of a God. It was a horrible scene and I cut it off. 

Athena leaves the temple and Medusa start to punish herself so hard that her face changes and the hair becomes vicious serpents. Everything she looks becomes stone. This is part of the story of Medusa. A victim. What is the relation among victim and monster? 

I believe the author of Pandora's Box and Kalon Kalon is not apologizing violence. I also believe people who had sensibility for art are not murderers. Readers of tragedy might experience everything, they don't need to feel those things in real life. Most of people are producing knowledge because they need a job. What will define if you are a good researcher is how many articles do you publish per year? How many books have you wrote in the past decade? The world needs lawyers, engineers, physicians, physics, language teachers, teachers. Not thinkers. They all have a function in society. Somewhere there must exist someone which is not being paid on producing knowledge. Someone which produces thinking because it wants to. There must be someone criticizing the whole ideal world we live.Because if it's ideal, only exists inside our minds. Most of them are working and being paid to be conformed with the situation. A world in crisis raise thinkers, not mechanics. 

There are thousands of mechanics, people with savoir-faire, ready to contribute for a better world. When people use to think? It's easier to think with the Hydra head of the media and the role of society. Let's all pretend it's a farce, but we do not stand the consequences. It's very easy to think inside a box. What about out of it? 

If nobody is criticizing society, this is barbarism. I wanna feel special because I have a job, my family, my car, pay my taxes and have no social responsibility. I just need to care of myself, and that's is hard for many people. People are always paying the price for their vanity. Okay, you will have a fat salary, a wealth life, but you'll never be happy, and you will never wonder why. Because if you lose the square who protects you, you fall in madness and never come back. 

To think shocks people. The taboo is so strong that becomes unbreakable: there are some things I will never think about it, because I don't know where this "thinking" will take me too, besides I am very scared to comprehend myself" They never think on their own, always following rules and patterns, when they decide to do something, they hurt themselves and, unfortunately, others. Violence is accept the world the way it is. Yesterday, today or tomorrow. Those who accept the world the way it is are not victims. What kind of poetry did you do to make a world a colorful place? 

People believe being morons means happiness. The escape of all responsibilities. I don't need to care about poverty, wars, crazy guys shooting innocents because he's sad and lonely, nuclear weapons, what I really care is how many girls I will fuck this weak, my cell phone is not so good, I need a new car and a brand pair of shoes and new conceptions of art. It's very easy to live in a world without responsibility, and the world of profit give the people this opportunity to be fools. I have a job, I am honest person, I depend on nobody, I owe no satisfaction, this is private property, this is my profit and this is my hole when I die. Poetry is a waste of time. There are no poetry in the things you say. I don't see poetry in news, science or in our ordinary lives. God, deliver me from clever art! Artists contribute in a large way for violence. Because they do nothing. They have access of  dozens, hundreds, millions of minds in some cases, but the artists only want to sell their job. "Buy my job and my ideas". Artists could be the first irresponsible in society, if they don't care about the world they live: No, I care about form, space, shape, light, shadow, ink, perspective, non perspective. Art should never be a dream where people get inside to forget reality. Art could be a way to emancipate civilians and give them autonomy. But I don't want autonomy, it gives me a lot of responsibilities my art could not sustain. So I really prefer being an automaton. Art should set people out of darkness, not lock them inside another organized way of thinking. There is a square named art, and only the elected by God shall understand it. Millions of people, since the world began never heard, never understood what is this art. There was no thing as Renaissance. The great majority of people of middle ages never heard about Ticiano or Da Vinci. And even those millions who have knowledge over these famous artists, have no idea about what they did so special to make people forget the violence of their epoch. Injustice, cruelty and constant fear are the key to enter the middle ages. If you have no responsibility on the world you live, you are no actor, no farmer, no banker, no lawyer, no football player, no artist, you are just somebody else. How to feel proud of your thinking in a world millions never think? What I'm saying is that millions of people may die in hunger and lonely, but my Mona Lisa has nothing to do with it. Let the people die, they are not subjects of history, they don't belong here. It's more important for us to keep the Louvre Museum than humans lives. Outside the house of the muses, people are still hating each other, because this is the way the world wants to. The world does not want us to love each other, we are built to be automatons and see the other as a potential danger, the unknown or, what is more capitalist, rival. The world does not want to think, we were not raised to think as we want, we are raised to think as they want, because it will sustain everything that is evil around us. No question, no problems, only the melody of the song and the line of the canvas. 

Because if we decide to think, we should start to care of our own, and that's what nobody wants. Blame somebody else, not me. I have my work but I am not responsible for my life. God is. The State is. My mother is. What people are out of the church, the college and work? There are millions of people doing the same today, and there will be billions of them in a few decades to come. Think is not a good thing, because it might change your preconceptions, your traditions, your moral and ethics. Your sexual orientation. You could stop being a pig sexist and start to respect women... Society does not need to think, only to produce. But without those thinkers, we are doomed since the beginning. 

I am not a victim. I am the subject of my own actions, not object. (I think we are not objects from History) I live the way I want, I made my choices. I cannot be victim of my choices, instead, I am responsible for what I do, for the good and for the evil. But I cannot stand brainless guys blaming us females for their stupidity. Not everybody needs a life of unlimited sex, as is the only thing that matters. He sees women as objects, not subjects. Because if he could wonder a woman has its own desires, wishes and matters, he would picture they are not responsible for what he is. And he is what he is. Do not blame the parents, I doubt any reasonable mother would teach wrong things to its son. The high school? They practiced bullying on him, and this explains why he did what he did, does not justify, but explain. There is not explanation for madness! The world is violent by all means. Violence is always present but she is mute.This is how I read Kalon Kakon. But some of them are inglorious victims of fate. Victims of cruel females. When I criticize the passion of Romanticism and how it's dominant in our world, people say I'm extremist. Romanticism is a vicious, it preaches the capitalist essence of ego. My ego suffers for love and this is what matters! Everything else is bullshit, politics, violence, religion, oppression, somebody else values, moral and tradition means none in the face of my one true love. What kind of love make peoples slaves? My ego is tortured against my will, because I love. How love make people stupid? Is it really love? The worship of feelings is a disease. The Tragedy shows very clear passions leads humanity to pain and sorrow. If Achilles did not lose his mind, he could be alive. But he had a strong passion for its cousin, which makes him thirsty for blood: "Sing, Oh Muse, the Madness of brave Achilles". Romanticism is the material shape of vice cast by individualism. I'm not saying Homer was romanticist. 

When they will realize it's not about passion. It's about being objective in life. A reign of emotions uses to cause things like this. Reason is not only an ability to add 2 plus 2 equals four. Reason is what gives us self respect and intelligence to respect others. Because that's all what we should do to live in a better world. It's neither a fantasy, nor love, it's respect, responsibility, care and knowledge, first knowledge of the cruel world we live, than knowledge over ourselves. Without knowledge we will never wonder why others are so strange for us, and we will never respect them. Respect is not a simple thing. Not a simple world. The world of profits uses to confuse good manners with respect.  Without it, we are beasts as Medusa, Anger as Achilles, crying as a baby child in the beach because life is not the way his ego wants. Without it we are just like Hera and the ferocious jealous, or even Medea, who murdered her own sons, with no sense of civil responsibility. Keep beating the head on the rock until it bleeds, because that's the way the fools do. 

Miss Lake repudiates this world built by violence and romantic thought. Artistic thoughts which make the people forget even more reality and get into dreams. Repudiates people who felt victims of everything besides themselves. It's not our problem, it's not me, I don't know. I don't care. I just care for my personal life and so long. 

Clarissa Lake