Nymphe

I was running, opening door after door, like I was in the city of Thebes. The green started to drain over the leaves, it was fascinating. No, I wasn't sleeping, I just drank a little bit and my head turned around. They were all over around me. Everything was melting in front of my eyes. What is reality when you take LSD? 

What an unforgettable experience!  

After lose some minutes I will never take back, I finish the make up, look in the mirror and give myself some self confidence. I am not happy enough tonight. I deserve to be happy. "Hi, baby", I am the most powerful woman tonight. 

After prove the taste of the night, I kept dancing, kissing, dancing, kissing, like I was in an eternal looping. It's not the worst: When I started to laugh, I couldn't stopped. The colors! Oh, my god, it seems I never saw a color in my life. The color gain life and another spectrum, one you will never forget. Besides laughing, of course. It's better than marijuana. 

I go to the bathroom look in the mirror for the third time, I need to be on, so I get my tiny make up mirror in my purse and my cross, to show people I am good religious girl. In fact, I am, but it's good to see men's faces when they look for your boobs and suddenly, they see a cross. 

The princess needs the magic dust to bright. Now I am on. Now the evening is young. Damn! This drug makes me feel I am the best person in the world. Shit! I will take some more before I go. 

I told my boyfriend I was going to visit an aunt. I told him she is very boring and keeps asking stupid things, making visitors embarrassed. Whatever, somehow I got this bad feeling he would never understand if I'd tell him the true. While I am kissing a tall and strong guy, I think about my boyfriend, so I lose the handsome man and go to the bar drink. He asked me: "Do you love me". I told him what he wanted to hear. What in deep every man wants to hear. Even now at this party, if I tell some fool that I love him, it is possible he believes. 

I love my guy, but not like that. Not a soap opera. Not a drama. Life is easier when you just tell people what they want to hear. Many people loves to hear "I love you". Tonight you shouldn't care about little stuff. He told me and I kissed him until I couldn't anymore. He deserved. Some guys deserves a kiss. Some deserves a fuck. That's what I am looking for tonight.

I want to have experiences which my boyfriend could never give me. So I lie to him. I lie to everyone to get what I want: more experiences. It's incredible how man looks when you are sucking their cocks. They feel like gods, when they never realizes they are completely dominated. If you wanna get some guy, give him a blow job he would never forget. Suck with love, show to him that his play thing is the delicious thing you ever saw. I like to play that character in the bed. 

Sometimes I am on the work, and one week at month, I become a predator. I would like to fuck every minute. So I met my friends at the restaurant. We talk bullshit and bullshit and we go to his apartment. 

He gives me marijuana and Tequila, we laugh a lot and I tell him that I need a shower before I go home. They keep on the living room, drinking, smoking and laughing, two beautiful and kind guys by the way, I prepare myself for what is about to come. "I forgot the towel. Could any of you bring it here, please?"

When he came, I open the door and I let him see me naked, for a few seconds before I hide behind the door. I could see his pants growing immediately. I gave him a smile and shut the door.  

Until that day I never had courage to admit to myself. But it turns me on wonders a situation with two men. I got out there, covered for the white towel, I went to the living room and kept starring them. We keep like tigers for a long time, until I started to stuck my fingers on my pussy. 

When they came I was already wet. "Please, go easy, it's my first time". Lie. It was my third time. The first I was in a party and I wanted to dominate several man. So, one by one, I asked to them "Would you like me to suck your cock right now? Don't ask questions, follow me". I could get nine guys, and I sucked them for real, the way they like, until all of them cum in my face. It was delicious, I masturbate myself for months with this remembrance. 

The second time I tried a double penetration, but the guy was really hurting me, and I asked them to stop. The third time, well, I had a little trauma and I couldn't accept two inside me. But now is the time. I look women in porn movies, those porn starts and to me, they are amateurs. They do not love sex, they love money. They are cheap actors representing one single possibility of sex. Cheap actresses whose talent is clear when they look to the camera. When they look to the camera, they prove they are just acting, no pleasure involved. When I am focus, swallowing a cock, I don't think about looking, I am not even thinking. To me, it's a waste of time. This is they would never be in Cannes: they are terrible actresses. And the porn stars guys too. 

Some guys hire actors, they make a job and get the cash. No love at all. I love what I do. I do because I like it very much. I like to feel storms of pleasure. 

It's funny how guys get excited when I put both cocks inside my mouth at the same time. They got my hair, I see chills and their cocks vibrating. What I am telling you is when they are sharing a woman, they do not hide the pleasure they feel with another man. Yes, when their penis touch one another, some of them cum. I am not telling every man is like this, but I saw some. 

I am thinking too much. Perhaps I should drink some water. I will not sleep alone tonight. I will carry two guys to a lousy Motel and scream until I can't. Men like to feel they are using you in the bed. Au contraire honey, I know how to use it pretty much. Oh yeah. They love you to the death when you show you are punker than they are. A lot of men love me. But I don't love them back. I just like the pleasure of being with them. It's a chemical stuff, I don't know that shit. 

After LSD there is one experience I couldn't describe. It's better than heroin and cocaine. The sensation of two cocks inside you. I think I got addicted. I could never tell such a thing to my traditional friends of the work. They are like me, but they prefer to annoy their husbands and besides cheat them. At least, I am good girlfriend. I do not make my guy pass any kind of shame. I respect him very much. The problem of that time, was the guys got so excited, they couldn't even resist to the blow job. They cum and got tired. I tried some times, until one of them started to fuck me alone. I wait a long time, but when they recover their energy, I could enjoy the spectacular pleasure hidden from me. Whores do thing like this. Not a professional worker.

Yes, honey I depend on no one. I have a job which pays me very, very good. So I am in the one of several parts of the yacht. The part which is happening a Rave. I have a Mercedez-Benz and a BMW. I go to the most expensive restaurants in the city. I am respected for a large community for my job.

Give people what they want, and they will love you forever. They want you kind, smiling, giving them strength, vigor, inspiring them. Sometimes I do that in my job. Sometimes I do that in the bed. I don't feel bad when a guy puts cocaine into my ass. I feel good, so good I go to work and it's impossible to hide how happy I am. It makes me a better person. 

I go to the church, I pay my taxes and I have a boyfriend. But I bet if was a guy like Bukowski, telling he had a threesome with two teenagers, no one would complain. Of course he understood a lot about the women's nature, but what about a woman's feeling? A book telling how a man could fuck a lot of woman and fuck his mind during the process as well. 

But I can't tell this anyone besides you. To me, when I am on the bed, sex is just another scene in my life. My favorite scene, I confess. Sex is not wild. Is objective and premeditated. Why a guy should keep more than five minutes inside you? No, the correct question is, why he supports for so long? That's the point: every minute he stands inside you, he's proving to you that he has a large self control. And that's makes me very horny. Which makes the guy even harder until we get to orgasm. Why do we have to look at them as we were suffering? Many guys told me about their experiences. It happened with several women, and I would like to share it: "She was in four paws in my bed, I was putting damn good inside her, and she was looking at me with fear, despair and sorrow also mixed with pleasure". The guy told me this. Why women like to represent the character of the dominated woman, when they are fucking? The screams are not only of pleasure, there are also pain. Why is it a theater? I know it because of the repetition. I did it with dozens of men. I am making with a lots of them right now. I really hope in the future I will get hundreds. Do I have to represent the same character with all of them? No, I like to stand upon them, and when I am fucking, I like to look serious to them. They here me moaning, by my throat, I am not easy to give pleasure. It's not easy to give pleasure to me either. My point is that we don't fuck as animals. It's seems that having sex is a very irrational situation. But it's exactly the opposite: it's very rational. 

But men also wants to believe they can make you cum with his cock. Lie. Many women cannot cum with fornication. I am part of this statistics. When the guys is for too long inside you, and you are sweating and needing some rest, just give a loud scream and shake your body, and he'll believe he made you cum. But don't tell them the true, men are so sentimental these days. To get to my point, the guy should lick me right. A good licking is a very complicated thing. Sometimes the clitoris appears, sometimes not, the guy have to look it up using his lips, his mouth and his talent. It's not easy to get in the women's spot. But there are those that I will never forget. Some guys could give me a real orgasm, by sucking my pussy. Imagine a doses of morphine...it's something like that, there were times I could feel the sensation of my legs, arms, I was dreaming but I was awake, I was shaking inside, like many explosions of joy, getting stronger and stronger, when I try to take his head away, it was too late, I am smiling, I am so happy and tired. 

The most favorite story of man is the one you belong only to him. He wants to believe only him is able to give you pleasure. That's not true. I met guys before my boyfriend, and they didn't become "bad" because I am with him. I will met guys after him and that's not going to happen. Every person has a different kind of spirit and touch. It's never the same. Yes, I can make  faces and moan many times. Thank God I can feel it! I realize there are people which cannot have this feeling.  So I tell man what they wanna hear. If they like fairy tales, I tell them fairy stories. If they like epic, I'd give him Homer. Sometimes I wonder to myself when men got so stupid. When they stopped to use their cocks on the place of her brains. A romantic and vicious society, raised on sad things. Romanticism is a disease. Every melody, every poetry line, every shape of an artist figure contains the vicious virus of romanticism. People like to represent the "sad lonely person, abandoned for the one true love in live, and living a life of misery and despair, finally getting dark and shut into the illogical abyss of life, or love". Let the Raven eat all romantics. And idealists. Idealists should burn in hell. Sorry Padre. 

They are just so equal. The tattoos. The ideas. It seems they are working and going to the gym for better quality sex. So I don't keep screwing only with strong guys. They are very good to taste, but I like other possibilities, instead of our pattern of beauty. I am nasty girl, I am not going to Heaven, and I thank God for it! I confess. I do not feel repent. I just....can't. I feel good with two or three cocks around me. I like to be on my knees, watching their hard cocks facing me, sometimes a red, pink, black, tiny, thick, large, circumcised, non circumcised, I think I will begin an study over penis. Serious, I have an entire encyclopedia of penis images in my memory. What can I do Padre? I like it very much. Very much. Should I be go to Hell for this? Should I feel blame because I do not have a standard family?  Because I take drugs? My sin is that I love cocaine. Okay, I am guilty. But I was telling you about the party and then came so many ideas. You are the only one I can tell these things. Because I know you won't judge me. I know that the things I do in my privacy does not make me a evil Christian. I truly believe if I had a son, I would speak about it with him. My parents never told me one serious word about sex. It's like something forbidden, but we all know everybody does, or at least should, because there are seven billion of us here. I imagine most of times, people are not reproducing. Procreation is one of the God's will. But we are not in Heaven. We try to do our best, doing charity, going to the church, praising the lord and give what we have for those who need. We are hypocrites, because we don't really do it. But it's good to believe that we are good. It's good to confess. Thank you Padre. I know I am temptation, but I cannot let you without any pleasure. I know it's forbidden for you to have woman, but I am here confessing, and you must take a look at this. And here. I came in mini-skirts with nothing on it. I shaved my pussy before I came to the church, because I always had this fetish of getting laid with a Priest. You cannot have me. You cannot touch me. But you can masturbate yourself. Take a look and it will help you when you were alone. It's beautiful isn't? What if I start to touch myself over here..yeah! ah...

....ah....!!!!

oh!......! ...... ..... ..............................................! .............................ah ......................... ........................ ................... ...........................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...........................................yeah! ................................................ !!!!! ...................................................................... ...........................................hum.....................................................................uuuummm.........................................................................................................aaaaaah.....................................................aa.......ah..ah...ah...ah....ah....ah..ah...ah......!!!! ................................................... .................would-you-like-me-to-moan-like-a-pretty-cat? ................................... .................................. ........................................................................... ...............................................see me dog-style..................................................!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!! ...............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ......................................délicieux............................AH!...............................................................HUH!....................................!....................!............................!..............!.....!...!..!.....!............+.................ooooooo.............................   !!

Clarissa Lake - Confessions. In: Lars von Trier is a genius.